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Being Single: Not a Trend but an Option
Source:Chinese Women's Research Network | Release Date:2018-9-18-
Title: Being Single: Not a Trend but an Option
Author: Xie Wen
Release Date: 2018/9/14
Keyword: Being Single, Trend, Option

Forty-seven-year-old actress Yu Feihong recently participated in a talk show and went viral for her insight into being single and of marriage and accusing men of considering marriage a charity to women.

Nowadays, many single women like Yu are no longer affected and constrained by their surroundings. They follow their hearts and pursue their favorite lifestyles, and do not take marriage as a link to maintain their social relations any longer. This phenomenon is getting especially popular in urban areas.

Some women have stated that they have no specific goals at certain ages, thus they won't get married just for the sake of it. They don’t choose to be single and still possess a yearning for marriage, but they will not be forced into getting married due to pressure from society or family.

Many women once took it as a major task to find true love and they followed their parents' arrangements of blind dating, which was full of anxiety and unhappiness. However, they have increasingly started to see that they can be peaceful, relaxed and happy if they just let it go and that it is more important to enjoy themselves and life than to blindly expect happiness to be brought by another person.

Senior executives in many occupations now are women. They are courageous, dedicated and tenacious; and they are more meticulous and thoughtful than men, which has subtly influenced them with the idea that women can also be capable and are not inferior to men.

A staff member of the marriage services center of the central government office stated that many women have better economic conditions than men and they do not need to change anything through marriage. Moreover, they are mostly talented, cheerful, and have a wide range of interests. Relatively speaking, some men are not only inactive on social platforms, but also lack an interest in their social lives.

Jin Yuan, deputy director of the Marriage and Family Committee of the China Association of Social Workers, said in an interview that: "The rise of women has become an indisputable fact in recent decades. Women rely on wisdom, spirits of struggle and hard-work, and appear to be as capable as men, which directly leads to their economic independence and personal independence and in turn reduces their psychological dependence on men. If marriage cannot bring spiritual pleasure and psychological tranquility to women, it is easy for them to choose being single.

"Moreover, women love learning, which is not only limited to the improvement of their work ability, but also on self-improvement knowledge. There are always more women than men in various reading clubs, and the number of women learning about financial management is also rising. To some degree, women's overall self-growth is far faster than that of their male counterparts," said Jin.

With the development of social economy, various social services support systems have been improved. As a result, some functions of the family have gradually disappeared or weakened, while some others have begun to fall out of tune.

The food, clothing, and transportation that previously had to be obtained through interpersonal relationships are now replaced by highly developed network technologies. Leisure activities and emotional satisfaction are more occupied by social software. All of this along with the fact that some people lack the ability to love means that people are less inclined to form a family.

According to Ye Wenzhen, vice-president of the Chinese Women's Research Society, in recent years, the divorce rate in China has been on the rise, which greatly affects people's willingness to marry. The psychological concern that marriage will bring more risks, such as domestic violence, also directly reduces the marriage rate.

Meanwhile, the traditional family labor division, including the care of the family, the spouse, the children, the elderly, and so on, is mostly all put on women. These burdens drive away women in modern society who have a good background in career development; and compel them to be extremely rational to make more practical considerations and choices on getting married, even if they have the opportunity to do so.

Ye said, "In recent years, personal life preferences have undergone major changes. People enjoy more freedom to choose their own lifestyles and society is more tolerant of different choices. This also creates a more suitable social environment for women to be single."

Jin added that, "For thousands of years, men have tended to marry women with lower incomes and social status. Women have also inherited the long-held belief that husbands should be superior to their wives. Thus from the perspective of government, policies should be formulated to help men grow as soon as possible, such as starting with education and fostering the concept of gender equality, so that children can learn equality and respect during adolescence.

"Besides, the relevant government departments should take steps to create practical conditions to relieve the real pressures faced by those who want to get married, such as housing. Universities should also provide students with a more relaxed environment and more guidance on relationships to help them build a healthy view of marriage and love.

"Women who have received a good education and career development should also be encouraged to adjust their attitudes toward marriage and preferences for spouse selection, and become a major force in the innovation of the marriage system," said Jin.

(Source: and edited by Women of China)
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